I am going through a really bad patch lately, when it comes to designing and making jewelry. It started a week or so ago. I had laid out this design for a necklace, that I am very happy with. But when I am going to assemble it I get stuck on tiny details. Either I don't have a clear idea of HOW that particular part shall connect with the next. Or I just don't manage to make it look good. So I take apart and try again, and take apart and try again. When I've been doing that for two or three days I put it all away coz I only get stressed when handling the parts, and my hands get all sweaty and such things, so I don't work well anyway. What a shame it is, coz I believe it will look great if I only get it to look the way I want it too. I have kind of promised people to show it ready also, as a reply to the positive comments I got on flickr and on my blog post. I feel I let you down. So sorry about that!
OK, so I started on something else instead. This Month's ABS challenge. Oh, I have some beads and parts that are so perfect for this. I was gonna make a bracelet. A really nice one. But it just wouldn't work out for me that one either. I tried for three days. Same story as with the necklace above. Aaaarrrrgggghhhh! Now it is just a pile of beads and components. And I DON'T want to give up. I keep coming back looking at the parts, fiddling with them, trying different possibilities. But na, I am not convinced yet. So back to the good old soup state again. And that's where we are standing now.
On the good side though - I did make these earrings and posted them to the flickr group. They turned out nice I think. So hurray for them! They are for sale in my Etsy shop. They sit very nicely on, I wore them all Sunday, and hardly noticed them during the whole day.
Then there is also the Bead Soup Blog Party. I don't know what to make with the parts I got from Anita. They are all lovely and beautiful, don't misunderstand me. And I can see them in many different kinds of jewelry looking really good. Made by other people. But you see, I want to make my own kind, my own style. So last night I was laying out at least ten different concepts for designs of different pieces. I wasn't pleased with any of them. They would work, shurely, and I would get away with showing them. But I wish for something extra. Not just "good" or "nice". But "WOW" and "awesome". You know what I mean!?!
I do know from my previous artistic careers that this patch I am going through is a clear sign of that I am just about to take a leap in my performance level. An art teacher explained it to me once like this:
Picture some stairs. See yourself, your skill and ability moving up those stairs. When you have reached a new step on those stairs you feel great and excited and in flow. But then slowly you are moving forward on that step in order to get closer to the next one to climb. The closer you get, the more and more you get a glimpse of what is awaiting you. You can see what you COULD achieve, but you are not yet there. At a certain stage in that process of moving forward you are not any longer satisfied by what you already know, but ONLY see what's there on the next step. This is when the big frustration strikes. "So really", my teacher said, "you thinking that you suck at what you do, is a sign of you having developed, and that you know where you want to go." "You are just about to move up onto that next step."
I have carried this picture with me for many years, coz it works for me. And right now I am standing right there by the wall of the next step again. Oh, it is so tough and difficult to actually push myself over. I am STUCK basically. So what I have often done in the past when I am standing here, is to decide to do the opposite of what I believe is good. The opposite of the familiar and known. Coz really, when you think about it, it is what you already know and can that you are NOT satisfied with. You want something more, something new, something fresh and exciting. How to access that, unless you try something completely unfamiliar. You have to not care about the end result when you have your first go. But you have to complete the idea, the attempt to the end.
Alright then! I guess that is what I will be doing for the following days, or weeks. And this time I shall push myself to show the results swell, not judging myself before. All the way!
Now just please give me a BIG KICK IN THE ASS for my coming journey!